This week has been a rough one on me. It started out this weekend at work. I was in the NICU for 3 days straight and I have never come out as emotionally drained. Friday night we had a baby born at 24 weeks weighing only 1 lb 7 ozs. For those who aren't familiar with baby weeks...this is four weeks past half way. When I left Saturday morning the Dr. was still working on this tiny being. Then Saturday evening when I came back the same Dr. was bending over the same bed doing the same thing...only to a different baby. This time one of a set of 31 week twins. He had just got done working on the other one. The first baby...the 24 weeker...got transferred out to another hospital. Later that night another 24 week baby was born into this world. Tiny and frail but not as small as the first, this one was 2 lbs even. Within a 24 hour period 4 tiny babies were born barely alive and fighting.
Today is Wednesday (technically Thursday) and I've had a 2 day reprieve....until I get a crushing phone call from my best friend. Her son who is only 6 months older than Maddy is losing his fight with cancer. It may be a few days it maybe a few weeks....nothing they can do.
Then tonight I walk into work and this time I'm in Labor and Delivery. I go to visit the NICU to see what's up.. two more sets of twins on ventilators.
I can't help but look at my girls and just be glad that they are healthy and well. I can't help but feel deep sorrow for Sus as she watches the life of her little boy drain slowly from his body. I can't help but feel grateful that he will go home to his Father in Heaven and not have to deal any longer with the pain and sorrow of this mortal life. He will be greatly missed and forever remembered and loved. I can't help but feel upset when I see careless teenagers come in having babies when these poor women pay hundreds of thousands of dollars to have embryo's placed into their bodies only to have 24 week babies because their bodies can't carry a baby to full term. Or they just flat out lose baby after baby after baby.
I can't help but be grateful to my Father in Heaven for the plan that He has in place. I may not understand the plan, but I'm grateful that our father loves us and that we can return to him and be with our family that has passed on. I'm thankful that babies still have a vision of what's behind the veil ( or so I'd like to think) to comfort them.
Here's to all the angels who come to this earth for a short time and touch our hearts.
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Life hangs in the balance.
Posted by Candace at 3:53 AM
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5 comments:
Can you ask Susie if I can read her blog, I don't have her email address but would love to see her family!
This life seems so fragile when looking at these little ones. And I can't stop crying for Susie. I just pray she has the help she needs.
what a beautiful post candace-and it really is so sad. Please give my love to susie
I can't imagine being in the NICU like that. It would definately be draining. And I'm with Anja, I don't have any contact information for Susie but I only live in Draper so Susie, if you read this comment on my blog with a way to get a hold of you. I'd love to come help anyway that I can.
Thanks for this entry. I agree with every word you said... and understand the emotions that go along with them. Having lost 3 babies before I had Emile and Brie, I questioned so many things. I truly hated teen moms for a time, especially when I was trying so hard to become a mom without sucess. Life doesn't seem fair some days. We continue to have faith... to pray for those who are faced with such heartbreaking challenges, such as Susie. I would love to know how to get in touch with her as well. Hopefully she receives strength through the prayers we are all offering on her behalf. Peace... be still.
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